Just a kid
by Who am I. Well. I'm just Me
Summary: You better watch out your words, because words can hurt worse than kicks. Rated for bad words. Art by Sneefee
1. Prologue

This fic is based on a **C-Puff** Deviant Art pic I saw. The R/M dialogue was created by **C-Puff** and only by **C-Puff**; I only transcribed them and add some details of my own.

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This is what the artist said about the pic:

"_While attacking the Shredder's fortress Splinter was severely injured shielding Mikey from an attack. Leo got him away from the fight and to safety but had to leave him to return and help his brothers. When the fight was over and they returned to collect Master Splinter he was missing. He was too badly injured to go anywhere himself and due to stuff going down they had to leave the area and had to postpone searching for their Sensei. for the next 3 episodes the audience is kept in the dark as to what happened to Splinter. It may only be 3 episodes, but it feels like an eternity, especially since the next few episodes really broadcast the emotional turmoil the brothers go through worrying over what could have happened to their father.__  
__This scene does not take place in the show btw."_  
…

"_I remember so clearly how worried I was about Splinter during this story arc.__  
__I also remember how utterly terrified Raph was during this time, although being Raph he shows it in a skewed way. I found it very touching how Leo, taking the role of temporary head-of-the-family, handled Raph and managed to stop his brother from completely losing it and going out to do something outrageously stupid.__  
__In the show no-one even brings up the fact that Splinter got hurt shielding Mikey. the ONLY person who brings up this fact is Mikey himself, and he uses it to snap at Raph. Mikey keeps his personal problems and demons a well guarded secret, so to me, when he made this remark it showed he carried some heavy guilt for what happened. Yes it's only 1 line and I might be reading too much into it, but considering his character and that how he does not discuss his problems with any-one unless forced I felt it at least hinted at something lurking under the surface._

_I feel I need to defend Raphael here quickly, because he really and honestly did NOT mean what he said the way it sounded. He spat the word the way he did because he found it to be utter bullshit that the only two outcomes to the situation was either Splinter getting hurt shielding Mikey (which he did) Or, if he didn't do so, Mikey would've been the one who got hurt and possibly a lot worse than Splinter was. Raph and Mikey are extremely close and Raph finds it a sick cosmic joke that the choice between who would get badly hurt was between his father and his little brother who he cares for deeply. Mikey of course, misinterpreted due to his own feelings of guilt and responsibility. And of course, Raph being Raph, can't believe he put his foot in his mouth YET AGAIN and made a mess of things. Raph has some self-issues. Everybody knows this, it's no secret._

_Before any-one complains about the swearing, yes I know they don't swear in the cartoons and the most they say in any of the movies is "Damn", but in the comics Raph and Leo have no problem with cussing now and then. And I don't just mean "Damn" "hell" and "crap". I personally own a comic where Raph says "Fuck" at least twice and Leo says it once. So don't whine about "Oh how could you give them such potty mouths!" ok?__If they swear enough in the comics for Splinter to reprimand them for it then I see no reason with them letting something slip when they're really stressed out.__  
__I won't go all South Park on you guys though promise XDDD"_

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Well, that's what the author commented about the pic (most of it, of course) This fic will be written with the same dialogues and, yes, the bad words.

Sorry, but the pic isn't mine and I respect **C-Puff**'s criteria.

The original title was **"Between S01E23 and S01E26" **but I'm gonna name this fic as **"Just a Kid" **because I'm planning to make the second part all of my own. So, the first part is the original dialogue between Mikey and Raph and the second part will be the reconciliation between them (brotherly fluff ^^)

I hope you enjoy it and review it please.

With Love:

**Who**


	2. Chapter 1

**JUST A KID**

After Splinter's mysterious disappearance, the turtles were more tan worried. Leo was in charge for now but he felt that his work as head of the family wasn't good enough, especially because of certain hotheaded brother who was dealing things by his own, letting all his repressed feelings and anger on his punching bag.

He had tried to talk with him, to be reasonable with him, he tried to understand him but Raph had closed himself in his own shell. And there he was, in the dojo again; sweat rolling down his forehead and arms and soaking his red bandanna.

Though his brothers had left him alone to not make things worse, the youngest of the family still believed he could help him somehow.

"Hey Raph!" Mikey yelled from the kitchen, Raph didn't pay attention. The orange masked ninja decided to confront his brother personally and went into the dojo.

"Raph, c'mon! Supper's ready"

"I ain't hungry" Raph said giving another punch to his punching bag.

"Aw, c'mon! It's Sloppy Joe night! Extra slop, of course" Mikey cheerfully.

"I said I ain't hungry!" Raph replied making Mikey's smile to fall down.

"You didn't eat anything yesterday either"

Raph started to punch the bag again without paying attention to his brother. Then Mikey decided that a little of his fun-loving spirit could help Raph a little.

"What's the matter? My cooking not good enough for ya?" Mikey teased Raph tugging at his bandanna's tails.

"Mikey, will ya fuck off already?" Raph said angrily as he free his bandanna from Mikey's grip.

"Jeez Raph! What the shell is your problem?" Mikey replied.

"I ain't hungry, so just quit buggin' me! I'm busy!" Raph said harshly.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh! Bite my head off for worrying about you!" Mikey said crossing arms.

When he was about to leave the dojo, Raph talked again feeling a little guilty.

"Just… leave me somethin' in the fridge for later" Raph said trying to calm down.

"It'll be cold" with this comment, Raph exploded again.

"Look! I just ain't up for eatin' anything, alright? I'm so uptight if I eat anything right now I'm gonna puke! So just..." Raph yelled but started to cool down again.

"…sigh*… just… save me some for later" Raph ended the phrase sighing heavily.

Mikey understood his brother's feelings. He was hiding his fear and worries about Splinter like all of them had been doing since their sensei disappeared.

"We're all scared, Raphie" Mikey said softly. That was enough for the red masked ninja; Raph let out all what he thought, all his repressed emotions.

"**I AIN'T SCARED!** I'm pissed as hell! None o f this shoulda happen! If it weren't for the dammed Shredder and everythin' goin' to hell, and Master Splinter bein' so damn **NOBLE** and takin' a hit for **YOU**, none of this woulda happened and he wouldn't be out somewhere hurt or dying or, God forbid, **DEAD**!" he yelled. Once he was done, Raph sighed heavily and looked again at Mikey**…**

"…*sigh*… look, I…" **… **just to see he had hurt him in the most terrible way. The orange masked turtle stood there, staring at him with glassy wide opened eyes and shivering a little.

"Oh shit! Mikey no! I didn't mean it like that!" Raph tried to apologize but the damage was done already.

"…yes, you did" Mikey said almost whispering.

"Mikey…" Raph tried to apologize again but Mikey left the dojo running and crying softly.

"Mikey!" Raph yelled again. Mikey was now upstairs, his face buried in his pillow being soaked with his tears. Raph had told him the truth; when he was angry he always told them the truth they liked it or not. Splinter was gone… and now Mikey blamed himself.

"**NNNARGGGNN!**" Raph growled in anger and placed his eyes in the punching bag.

"STUPID, STUPID, **STUPID!**" he yelled as he kicked and punched the bag fiercely.

When he felt the lack of air on his lungs, he stopped letting his forehead rest in the punching bag. He knew he had hurt Mikey… and badly. Raph knew it wasn't his brother's fault but the anger and rage he had inside had blinded him and made him hurt his baby brother. He loved Mikey even though he never told him. He didn't want to say that, he didn't mean to say that to him. Raph knew how sensible Mikey was, especially now that their Master and father was gone. He hated The Shredder and the Foot even more.

The red masked ninja panted against the punching bag trying to recover his strength; he felt all his feelings and emotions… haunting him, wanting to crush him down. How could he have done such a thing! Mikey was just a kid. Why he said that to him!

A single tear left his eye rolling down his cheek.

"…stupid" Raph muttered.


	3. Chapter 2

Well, here's the last part of this fic. I hope you like it! You can also see the pic on **DA (Deviant Art)** The artist is called **C-Puff**

**Reviews please!**

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"Did you see that?" Don asked as he saw Mikey running upstairs and crying.

"Why I have the feeling that Raph has a lot to explain?" Leo said making his way to the dojo.

"Please Leo; if you're going to talk to him try to… I don't know… not lecture him?" Don said.

"I'm not gonna lecture him!" Leo replied.

"Well, you always say that and you always end up doing it. Please, just this once. Raph is too upset and I don't wanna know what he could do to you" Don said sounding worried.

"Don't worry Don, I'll be ok" Leo said smirking. He found Raph sat down against the wall, his arms embracing his legs and his forehead against his knees.

"Hey Raph…" Leo said but was interrupted by Raph.

"I'm not gonna talk to you now, Leo. So don't try to make me!" Raph said angrily.

"Ok, ok! I just wanna know if you were fine" Leo said.

"Well, no! I'm not! Now get outta here!" Raph said getting up and gazing Leo with furious eyes and pointing at the dojo's door.

"Not until we talk about what happened here! Raph, I just want to help you" Leo said.

Raph started to make his way out of the dojo but Leo grabbed his arm stopping him. Raph managed to free himself from the grip and sent a punch to Leo's face. Fortunately, the blue masked ninja caught Raph fist. Raph sent another punch but Leo dodged it.

"You're not help! I wish sensei were here!" Raph yelled angrily sending a kick.

"I'm doing the best I can!" Leo said angrily and dodging the attack.

"WELL, IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Raph yelled again and sent another punch; his fist was again caught by Leo.

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?" Leo yelled back.

Raph kept punching him lowering the intensity by the minute. He was too tired to fight and argue at the same time now. One last soft punch in Leo's waiting palm and both turtles sighed heavily leaning against the wall and sitting at each other's side.

A moment of silence. And then Leo talked again.

"Remember when we were playing in Splinter's room with his ink?" Leo said.

"Yeah, and we stained all his sheets and his pillow?" Raph continued.

"Hehe! And then when he came back from the surface late at night, his room was dark and he too tired so he went directly to bed…" Leo chuckled.

"… and the following day he had half of his face…" Raph continued again.

"… stained in black ink! HAHAHAHAHA!" both turtles exploded in laugh at the memory. Another moment of silence… which Raph decided to break this time.

"Leo, I… I seriously didn't mean to say that to ya. Yer doin' a good job, really" Raph said a little ashamed.

"It's ok, you were just angry. I understand. So, mind if you tell me why Mikey was crying?" Leo asked.

"I just… said stupid things to him… as usual. I didn't mean to make him feel like this is his fault. He was so… hurt. I hurt him, Leo! I think he hates me now" Raph said sadly.

"He'll never hate you. Neither of us could do it! All of us are taking Splinter's disappearance kinda hard but if we stick together as a family, I'm sure we're gonna find him soon, ok? Now, about Mikey… why if you let him see you can be a great big brother and show some tenderness?" Leo suggested.

"Ya think that could work?"

"Of course! If you did that, I'm sure Master Splinter would be proud of you"

"How do ya know that?" Raph asked with a puzzled face.

"Because I know everything" Leo said smugly causing Raph to raise an eyebrow.

"Ok, ok… maybe not everything. But what I know is that he would be very proud of you. You're a good brother, Raph" Leo said smirking. He was shocked when he felt a pair of strong arms around him pulling him into a hug.

"You too" Raph muttered.

"Thanks Raph" Leo said after he recovered from the impression.

In his room, Mikey repeated mentally his brother's words. They hurt; each one of them. The more he remembered them the more Mikey cried.

By the time Raph knocked at his door, Mikey had fallen asleep still sobbing and crying. He was so tired that he didn't hear his brother calling him and pleading him to let him in.

With some of Don's tools' help, Raph opened the door just to find his baby brother in a deep slumber surrounded by tear stained pillows and soft sobs coming from his mouth. The red masked ninja entered as stealthy as he could and sat beside his sleeping brother.

"Mikey? I… maybe ya can hear me, maybe ya can't but… I just wanted to say I'm… I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to say all those things; I was… I mean, I am worried and… yeah, I'm scared too… tch, I'm such an idiot. Ya just wanted to help and I…" Raph said with the softer tone he had. His brother showed no signs of being awake so he decided to leave him sleep for now.

"…*sigh*… anyway, it's ok if ya hate me or else… I think I deserve it" Raph said sadly as he walked to the door.

"You don't, Raphie" A sleepy voice stopped him. Mikey stared at him with inflamed red eyes for all the crying.

"Did ya… hear everything?" Raph asked in surprise sitting in the bed again. Mikey nodded.

"Yeah, I understand how you feel. And don't worry, I don't hate you" Mikey said smirking a little.

"After all I said… you should" Raph said sadly avoiding his brother's gaze.

"Don't be silly. I could never do that… unless you mess up with my comic book collection, then I would really hate you!" Mikey chuckled.

"Heh! Don't sweat it; I know what yer comic books mean to ya. So… you ok?" Raph asked still concerned.

"Yep! Not a 100% ok but… I'm fine" Mikey said.

"Glad to hear it. Ya know; I'm feeling kinda hungry now. Ya think ya could make me one of yer famous triple meat lasagnas?" Raph said winking.

"Hmm… I don't know… I'm too depressed to cook right now" Mikey said sighing dramatically.

"That's bad! I wonder what can I do to cheer ya up. Hmmm… what about some… TICKLE TORTURE!" Raph said capturing Mikey and tickling him.

"AHHHH! WAIT! HAHAHAHA, NO -HAHAHA- FAIR, HAHAHAHAHA!" Mikey laughed.

"Now, how ya feeling, huh?" Raph said teasingly and still tickling.

"B- haha- better! Better! I swear- HAHAHAHA! STOP, STOP! HAHAHAHAHA… CAN'T –HAHAHA- BREATHE!" Mikey said chocking a little on his spit.

"Ok" Raph left him finally.

"Man!... *cough, cough*… next time give me a sign you're gonna do something like that! I couldn't breathe!" Mikey said recovering from the lack of air and coughing a little.

"Hehe… ya need to practice yer skills so I can't catch ya, Mikey"

"And who said I wasn't practicing my skills?" Mikey said playfully and jumped out of the bed.

"If you catch me, I'll make your lasagna. If you don't, you'll have to do the dishes for a week" Mikey said preparing for the run of his life.

"Deal" Raph said.

"Three… two…" Mikey counted.

"One!" Raph interrupted Mikey and ran directly to him.

"AHHHH! NO FAIR! YOU'RE CHEATING!" Mikey yelled running down stairs.

"Ya never said the rules!" Raph followed him.

The red and the orange masked turtles ran through the lair while the others just saw them with a smile on their faces.

"Seems like nothing's gonna change when sensei comes back, don't you think Leo?" Don asked.

"Yeah…" Leo said smirking and went to his sensei's room. He touched the cold sheets softly and sighed heavily.

"… when he comes back" Leo muttered.


End file.
